Paul Blart vs. Larry Daley
Original= Description It's Paul Blart: Mall Cop vs Night at the Museum! Paul Blart takes on Larry Daley! With the fatter version of Segway Guy win? Or will Larry light the way to victory? Interlude Wiz: We need security guards, and they can be local heroes or worldwide heroes Boomstick: Paul Blart, the diabetic Mall Cop Wiz: And Larry Daley, The Museum of Natural History's night guard Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick Wiz: And it's our job to anilize their weapons, armor, and skill to see who would win a Death Battle Paul Blart Wiz: Paul Blart is the obese family man that patrols West Orange Pavilion Mall Boomstick: Before becoming a Mall Cop he was trying to get a spot in the New Jersey State Police but failed because of his hypoglycemia. Wiz: After that test, he went to his second career choice--- Boomstick: A segway riding security guard Wiz: And he would never expect to become a hero when the new security guard went psycho Boomstick: And he took him down with a variety of crap around the place Wiz: He has his mode of transportation the Segway Boomstick: This Segway is his main mode of transportation saving him a lot of energy which is pretty helpful when he has to go across long distances Wiz: He can bowl over other people and has quick thinking. Boomstick: He is extremely durable even getting kicked by a goddamn horse, and getting slammed into a parked car clearly denting it, but got up perfectly fine Wiz: That can kill a person, or at least break some bones! Boomstick: But his bulk can get in his way at times Wiz: His speed--- Boomstick: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Wiz: Oh boy I know what you are thinking Boomstick and Im agreeing with you Boomstick: His speed is pretty pitiful but he can make up for that with endurance and durability Wiz: He is also a hypoglycemic-- Boomstick: Meaning if he doesn't have sugar every few hours he'll get loopy and go into a sugar coma. Wiz: He also has a lot of tactics and is a skilled fighter, taking out multiple thugs in one night Blart: Hey you Scuba Dooby Doo! Larry Daley Wiz: Larry Daley is the security guard at the Museum of Natural History Boomstick: Before that he was a divorced bum that was looking for a job Wiz: But after getting the job he found out that all the exhibits came to life Boomstick: Being a night guard he carries a Magnum LED flashlight Wiz: He can use it as a blunt instrument and use the light to blind enemies for a brief time Boomstick: He is also skilled in hand to hand combat and can kick ass if he wanted to Wiz: He also is the protector the tablet of Aukmanra, the very thing that allows the exhibits to come to life Boomstick: He has studied all the museum's sites and pretty much everything about anything Wiz: But he has his share of weaknesses Boomstick: Right! He has almost no experience when it came to fighting, has always had somebody to watch his back, only has that flashlight to fight with, and, lets face it, kinda an idiot Wiz: But he has defeated Kamunrah, saved the exhibits from freezing up for good, and won a slap fight with a monkey Boomstick: Yeah, that was classic Teddy: Lawrence, why are you slapping a monkey?! Larry: Teddy, he has been pushing me and pushing me and I'm sick of it! Pre-Death Battle Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!! Who do you think will win? Paul Blart Larry Daley Death Battle (The Museum of Natural History, New York) (It almost time to lock the Museum as Larry waits for his shift to start) Larry: Any minute now (Meanwhile, Paul was looking for a place to stay for the night while on his Segway) Paul: Good thing I brought you, I didn't think they'd let you on the carry on! (Paul finds a door and goes in only to find a museum) Paul: Huh nice hotel! (Larry hears Blart and gets up) Larry: Hey! You can't be here! Get out! Paul: (Still thinking it's a hotel) Oh great a mouthy Bellhop! Ok I'll give you a $1 tip and take my luggage to my room (Larry gets mad and starts to walk to him) Larry: Look buddy, I'm didn't come to my shift to be mouthed by a sumo wrestler in a suit! Paul: Alright, thats it! You asked for it. '' (Paul revs his segway) ''Larry: Time for me to guard! FIGHT!!! (Larry runs at Paul and grabs him) Larry: Hello! (He pulls Paul off his Segway and repeaditly punches Paul) Paul: This is getting old! (He body slams Larry and sends him flying) Paul: I'm gonna kill you! (Paul gets on his Segway and chases after Larry) Larry: Cmon I can take him! (He whips up his flashlight and swings it at Paul, knocking him off his Segway again) Larry: This will show you! (Larry repeatedly hits Paul with his flashlight, but the mall cop feels almost nothing) Paul: Is that all you got?! (He headbutts Larry, making Larry stumble and making Paul cringe) Paul: Ah! Nobody wins with a headbutt! (Larry stops stumbling and tries to recover from the headbutt, but Paul is having his own problems) Paul: Ah man...suger (He collapses on the ground and finds a half eaten Oreo Cookie) Paul: Have to eat it (He picks up the cookie and eats it., making him get back up again) Paul: Now then... (Paul gets on his Segway one more time and sails at Larry but is greeted with a bright light) Paul: AH!! (Paul hits a wall and Larry pushes him off the segway and tries to finish him off) Larry: Goodbye (Paul quickly punches and pins Larry against a wall and his Segway) Paul: Goodbye! (He jumps in the air and gets in a cannonball position and crushes Larry's head) Paul: Looks like I have to find another hotel KO! Results Boomstick: That was brutle! Show it again! Wiz: Although Larry was way smarter, faster, and skilled than Blart, Paul outclassed him in everything else Boomstick: One of Larry's greatest feats was defeating Kamunrah, an Egyptian pharaoh from Hell. But he had henchmen to take down and had General Musturd and the Idiot Brigade to watch his back. Wiz: Paul has taken down 8 criminals in one night with nothing but his fists and a bunch of crap in the mall Boomstick: His duriblity is insane. He has been beaten by Rudolph, the long haired dude, and has been kicked by a horse! Wiz: But this battle was a battle of brains, brawn, and duribility. For Paul, 2 out of 3 ain't bad. Boomstick: Looks like Larry had to say goodnight! Ha ha! Wiz: The winner is Paul Blart Next time Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle... (Ellis is seen holding a grenade launcher and fires it) Ellis: Kill all sons of bitches, that my official instructions. (The tank he his fighting dies) (Chuck is seen working at a desk making a double paddle chainsaw) Chuck: This is going to be fun (He walks outside to fight a horde of zombies) Ellis vs. Chuck COMING SOON!!! |-| |-| Remastered= Description Another remaster of one of my first fights, lets see how this goes Interlude Wiz: The everyday security guard. They protect us from criminals, keep a building protected, and keep themselves dedicated to their jobs Boomstick: And these two are the best in the business Wiz: Paul Blart, the big mall cop Boomstick: And Larry Daley, the flashlight wielding night guard Wiz: I'm Wizard and He's Boomstick and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skill to see who would win a death battle Paul Blart Wiz: In the town of West Orange, NJ, Paul Blart is known as the hardest working member at the local mall Boomstick: As a security guard, Paul aspired to be a New Jersey State Trooper. So he tried out several times and well... (A scene from Paul Blart shows him growing dizzy and falling short of the finish line) Boomstick: Damn, right at the finish line Wiz: Now 0 for 8 at his training and reasonably saddened by it, he kept working to be a trooper by working at the mall, and a good thing too Boomstick: Turns out that the new guy the mall hired and who Paul took under his wing, turned out to be a criminal who was organizng the biggest heist ever known Wiz: Until Paul, albeit unintentionally, stayed inside and found the criminals Boomstick: Who knew that being distracted by video games could lead you to beat the shit out of people Wiz: More than a couple Boomstick, over the course of an hour Paul subdued and trapped all of the criminals, Veck included Boomstick: And his lucky ass heroics don't stop there. Several years later he was invited to a Vegas convention, where him and a few others foiled a plan to steal paintings Wiz: And to think, if he had accepted that job at the New Jersey Police, those thieves would have gotten away with millions Boomstick: Ok, thank fuck the story is over with, now we can talk about the good shit Wiz: Swearing a self-made oath to protect the mall and all inside it, Blart decided to take action and fight back Boomstick: And with the help of a bunch of random items, he went all Home Alone on those thugs. Kevin McCallister would be proud, or sue Wiz: His main way of getting around is the segway, a battery operated vehicle that can go up to 15 miles an hour, but with Paul's added weight it really goes down to 8 Boomstick: Even then, with this baby Blart can jump gaps between buildings, run over pesky animals, sorry Scruffy, and can maneuver quick enough to dodge bullets.... what the fuck... Wiz: Even without his segway he is surprisingly agile given his plus-sized figure, able to fight on par with several thugs, his weight can also be used as a weapon to help him out Boomstick: Death by fat... there are better ways to go Wiz: Blart is also a quick thinker and strategist, within several minutes he came up with a plan that successfully worked at the mall, using nothing but random items he found in the mall and few vines from the Rain Forest Cafe Larry Daley Who do you think will win? Paul Blart Larry Daley DEATH BATTLE! Results Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Hoppingclams343 Category:'Hero vs. Hero' Themed Death Battle Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Series Category:'Rivalry' themed Death Battles Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Companies Category:Human vs Human themed DEATH BATTLEs Category:"Male vs Male" Themed Death Battles Category:Brains vs Brawn Category:Smart vs Dumb themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2016